“Well, I may not know much about God, but I have to say we built a pretty nice cage for Him.” –Homer Simpson (Episode BABF11: Missionary Impossible, airdate Feb 20, 2000)
Marge: Homer, you don’t have to pray out loud.
Homer: But he’s way the hell up there! –Marge & Homer
Homer: No offense Apu, but when they’re handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out…and come again. –Homer & Apu
The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten. –Homer
I’ve always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is – and it’s me. –Homer
Family, religion, friends.. these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.–Monty Burns
God is not angry, He’s not even in a bad mood. –Bumper Sticker
“Many an atheist is a believer without knowing it, just as many a believer is an atheist without knowing it. You can sincerely believe there is no God and act as if there is. You can sincerely believe there is a God and live as though there isn’t.” –Chris Blake
Keeping a pilgrim mentality gives perspective. The difference between a pilgrim and a wanderer is that the pilgrim has a destination. “For our citizenship is in heaven” (Philippians 3:20) and we’re passing through on our way home. All will be well when we get home! –Carl Westurlund
It kinda scares me when I agree with Bill Maher.
Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There’s no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It’s just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him. –Bill Maher
I’m the guy who thinks religion is bad and drugs are good. I think children aren’t innocent, god doesn’t write books,
and Jesus wasn’t a republican. –Bill Maher
Religion to me is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.–Bill Maher
I love Jesus; I just don’t like the Christians who don’t believe in what he said.–Bill Maher
I’m the guy who thinks religion is bad and drugs are good. I think children aren’t innocent, god doesn’t write books, and Jesus wasn’t a republican.–Bill Maher (I only agree with some of this!)
Time Magazine has to change its name to God Weekly. This week, Mary is on the cover again. In the last two years, Time has put out: “The Secrets of the Nativity”, “The God Gene”, “Faith, God and the Oval Office”, “The Bible and the Apocalypse”, “Who Was Moses?”, “What Jesus Saw”, “Why Did Jesus Have to Die?”, “Jesus in 2000.” If Jesus gets any more free press, he’s going to start thinking he’s Paris Hilton. Look, I understand we have a lot of Christians in this nation, but how about a little equal time? “Vishnu to Ganesh: Drop Dead”. And “Is There No Pleasing Zeus?”–Bill Maher
The thing about Time Magazine is we wish they wouldn’t write that crap either. It’s like watching stuff about Jesus on the Discovery channel. Just stop!
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. –Emo Phillips
In religion and politics, people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.–Mark Twain
One of the things that I picked up from my father and my mother was the sense that religion often gets in the way of God. –Bono