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Vintage Jesus pt 1 July 9, 2009

vintage-20jesus-small

Vintage Jesus Part 1: Is Jesus The Only God?

Pastor Mark Driscoll | October 08, 2006 |

Jesus claimed to be God, but is his claim exclusive, or is Jesus one of many gods through him we find salvation?

Vintage Jesus Part 2: How Human Was Jesus?

Pastor Mark Driscoll | October 15, 2006 |

The issue of Jesus’ divinity and humanity has been one of the most controversial and confusing issues in all of Christian theology. This installment of the Vintage Jesus series approaches this issue by asking the question “How human was Jesus?”

Vintage Jesus Part 3: What did Jesus accomplish on the cross?

Pastor Mark Driscoll | October 22, 2006 |

In the third sermon in the “Vintage Jesus” series, Pastor Mark examines what Jesus accomplished through His death on the cross.

Vintage Jesus Part 4: Did Jesus rise from death?

Pastor Mark Driscoll | October 29, 2006 |

In the fourth sermon in the “Vintage Jesus” series, Pastor Mark provides biblical, circumstantial and historical evidence for the resurrection of Jesus.

Vintage Jesus Part 5: Where is Jesus today?

Pastor Mark Driscoll | November 05, 2006 |

Pastor Mark explains where Jesus is today, how He got there, what He’s doing now, and why that matters to us.

Vintage Jesus Part 6: What will Jesus do upon His return?

Pastor Mark Driscoll | November 12, 2006 |

In the sixth sermon in the “Vintage Jesus” series, Pastor Mark talks about what will happen to creation, Christians, and non-Christians upon Jesus’ return.

Part 2 coming soon or go here and find the rest:

http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/vintagejesus

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Wise stuff I’ve Heard … pt 3 March 30, 2009

RuPaul's

RuPaul's

Woo Hoo! It’s the next round of quotes. Strangely, no Bono this go around. I’ve got some interesting people here. At the bottom are down loadable PDF files of  a 45 page eBook of quotes I put together. Feel free to add your own fav quotes in the comments!

previous editions of Wise Stuff are here:

Wise Stuff I’ve Heard pt 1

and here:

Wise Stuff I’ve Heard pt 2

What other people think of me is none of my business. –RuPaul

You want to know how big God’s love is?  The answer is: It’s very big. It’s bigger than you’re comfortable with.” –Anne Lamott

When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.— Dom Helder Camara, former Archbishop of Olinda and Recife, Brazil.

Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.Holocaust Museum, Washington, D.C.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. –Timothy Leary, philosopher and psychologist

The supreme satisfaction is to be able to despise one’s neighbor and this fact goes far to account for religious intolerance. It is evidently consoling to reflect that the people next door are headed for hell.–Aleister Crowley Author and occultist

The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.–Albert Einstein,

Einstein and his tongue.

Einstein and his tongue.theoretical physicist

The wiser you are, the more you believe in equality, because the difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to all that is unknown.–Albert Einstein

You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image, when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.–Unknown

I screamed at God for all the starving children, and then I realized that all of the starving children were God screaming at me.–Unknown

I think it’s about time we gave up religion and got back to God.–Lenny Bruce, Stand-up comedian, writer, social critic and satirist

If it weren’t for Christians, I’d be a Christian. –Mahatma Gandhi

Religious tolerance is not religious indifference. Tolerance means to value the right of another person to hold beliefs that you know are absolutely wrong.–Unknown

I have a dream…that some day my children will be judged not by the color of their skin but rather by the content of their character.–Martin Luther King, Jr.

In Germany, the Nazis first came for the Communists, and I did not speak up, for I was not a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak up, for I was not a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak up, for I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I did not speak up, for I was a Protestant. And then they came for me, and by that time, no one was left to speak up.–Martin Niemoller

It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui.–Helen Keller

What I am looking for is not out there; it is in me.–Helen Keller

The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting; by doubting we come to the question, and by seeking we may come upon the truth.–Pierre Abelard

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.–Bertrand Russell


Wise Man

Wise Man

Here are a booklet of quotes I did some time ago. Each have 15 pages of quotes. Download them!

Wise Stuff I’ve Heard  pt 1 (pages 1-15)

Wise Stuff I’ve Heard pt 2 (pages 16-30)

Wise Stuff I’ve Heard pt 3 (pages 31-45)

Wise Stuff I’ve Heard pt 4 (pages 46-60

 

Blue Like Jazz pt 1 March 21, 2009

bluelikejazz_500x200500wtnHey guys, I’m reading a cool book called Blue Like Jazz – Nonreligious Thoughts On Christian Spirituality by Donald Miller. He really is able to put into words things I’ve thought or experienced as well as things I’ve never even though of in that way. I thought I would add some excerpts and talk a bit about them. Donald’s stuff is in blue (aren’t I clever). Here are 3 PDF files: Chapter 1 of Blue Like Jazz, a press kit and a study guide. COOL! Click them to open the file.


Blue Like Jazz Chapter 1

Blue Like Jazz Presskit

Blue Like Jazz – Study Guide


I didn’t feel like I knew God, and yet He was making me experience this conviction (guilt over wrong done etc.) I felt that the least He could have done was to come down and introduce Himself and explain these feelings of conviction in person. If you don’t love somebody, it gets annoying when they tell you what to do or what to feel. When you love them you get pleasure form their pleasure, and it makes it easy to serve. I didn’t love God because I didn’t know Him. Still, I knew, because of my own feelings, there was something wrong with me, and I knew it wasn’t only me. I knew it was everybody. It was like a bacteria or a cancer or a trance. It wasn’t on the skin; it was in the soul. It showed up in loneliness, lust, anger, jealousy, and depression. It had people screwed up bad everywhere you went—at the store, at home, at church; it was ugly and deep. Lots of singers on the radio were singing about it, and cops had jobs because of it. It was as if we were broken, I thought, as if we were never supposed to feel these sticky emotions. It was as if we were cracked, couldn’t love right, couldn’t feel good things for very long without screwing it all up. We were like gasoline engines running on diesel. It is hard for us to admit we have a sin nature because we live in this system of checks and balances. If we get caught, we will be punished. But that doesn’t make us good people; it only makes us subdued. Just think about the Congress and Senate and even the President. The genius of the American system is not freedom; the genius of the American system is checks and balances. Nobody gets all the power. Everybody is watching everybody else. It is as if the founding fathers knew, intrinsically, that the soul of man, unwatched, is perverse. The goofy thing about Christian faith…is that you believe it and don’t believe at the same time. It isn’t unlike having an imaginary friend. I believe in Jesus; I believe he is the Son of God, but every time I sit down to explain this to somebody I feel like a palm reader, like somebody who works at a circus or a kid who is always making things up or somebody at a Star Trek convention who hasn’t figured out the show isn’t real.


Yep, It’s hard not to feel like a cult member when we talk about God and faith in general. Even though it is hard or uncomfortable, I believe it and care enough for you that I will look like a dork or a fanatic to share it with you. It’s almost like having the cure for cancer or something. I would be evil and wrong if you had cancer to not try and share it with you. I believe Jesus to be the cure for life’s problems.


The greatest trick of the devil…is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God.”


I recently heard a Pastor say that the devil doesn’t want a Christian to be rebellious but wants us to be religious. The people Jesus had a problem with weren’t the thief or the prostitute. It was with the religious people. and a warm fuzzy poem by C.S. Lewis All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you I never had a selfless thought since I was born I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through I want GOD, you, all friends to merely serve my turn Peace, reassurance, pleasure are the good I seek I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin I talk of love, a scholar’s parrot may talk Greek But self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

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Food Laws … it’s really funny!!! January 26, 2009

Filed under: bible,funny,humor,laws,parents — Mike Adams @ 10:28 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

The Living Room

Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room. burger

Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room.

Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups, you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry such therein.

Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room carpet begins, of any food or beverage there you may not eat, neither may you drink.

But if you are sick, and are lying down and watching something, then may you eat in the living room.

Laws When at Table

And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were. Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me. Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke. Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, you will be sent away. When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck; for you will be sent away.

When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what is within; I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or your sister has done the same to you. Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is. And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why. Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass.

Laws Pertaining to Dessert

For we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is clean, saying first, if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert. But of the unclean plate, the laws are these: If you have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then you shall have dessert. But if you eat a lesser number of peas, and yet you eat the potatoes, still you shall not have dessert; and if you eat the peas, yet leave the potatoes uneaten, you shall not have dessert, no, not even a small portion thereof. And if you try to deceive by moving the potatoes or peas around with a fork, that it may appear you have eaten what you have not, you will fall into iniquity. And I will know, and you shall have no dessert.

On Screaming

Do not scream; for it is as if you scream all the time. If you are given a plate on which two foods you do not wish to touch each other are touching each other, your voice rises up even to the ceiling, while you point to the offense with the finger of your right hand; but I say to you, scream not, only remonstrate gently with the server, that the server may correct the fault. Likewise if you receive a portion of fish from which every piece of herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is loathsome to you, and steeped in vileness, again I say, refrain from screaming. Though the vileness overwhelm you, and cause you a faint unto death, make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face, nor press your fingers to your nose. For even now I have made the fish as it should be; behold, I eat of it myself, yet do not die.

Concerning Face and Hands

Cast your countenance upward to the light, and lift your eyes to the hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains are upon you; even to the very back of your head, there is rice thereon. And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and other fragments are distributed in a manner wonderful to see. Only hold yourself still; hold still, I say. Give each finger in its turn for my examination thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they appear. What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go hence until I have done.

Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances

Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, nor against any building; nor eat sand.

Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape? And hum not that humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you will drive me to madness. Nor forget what I said about the tape.

Complaints and Lamentations

O my children, you are disobedient. For when I tell you what you must do, you argue and dispute hotly even to the littlest detail; and when I do not accede, you cry out, and hit and kick. Yes, and even sometimes do you spit, and shout “stupid-head” and other blasphemies, and hit and kick the wall and the molding thereof when you are sent to the corner. And though the law teaches that no one shall be sent to the corner for more minutes than he has years of age, yet I would leave you there all day, so mighty am I in anger. But upon being sent to the corner you ask straightaway, “Can I come out?” and I reply, “No, you may not come out.” And again you ask, and again I give the same reply. But when you ask again a third time, then you may come out.

Hear me, O my children, for the bills they kill me. I pay and pay again, even to the twelfth time in a year, and yet again they mount higher than before. For our health, that we may be covered, I give six hundred and twenty talents twelve times in a year; but even this covers not the fifteen hundred deductible for each member of the family within a calendar year. And yet for ordinary visits we still are not covered, nor for many medicines, nor for the teeth within our mouths. Guess not at what rage is in my mind, for surely you cannot know.

For I will come to you at the first of the month and at the fifteenth of the month with the bills and a great whining and moan. And when the month of taxes comes, I will decry the wrong and unfairness of it, and mourn with wine and ashtrays, and rend my receipts. And you shall remember that I am that I am: before, after, and until you are twenty-one. Hear me then, and avoid me in my wrath, O children of me.